Healthy relationships are central to recovery and well-being. Yet many clients in therapy struggle with boundaries, communication, and asking for their needs to be met. That’s where the Interpersonal Effectiveness module of DBT comes in — and worksheets provide a clear, structured way to practice these skills.
This guide walks you step-by-step through using DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness worksheets in session with both teens and adults.
Why Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Matter
-Improve self-respect while maintaining relationships
-Reduce conflict and miscommunication
-Empower clients to ask for what they need without guilt
-Strengthen boundary-setting and assertiveness
-Build lasting skills for friendships, family, and work
Step 1: Introduce the Core DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills
Explain the three main skill sets to clients:
1. DEAR MAN – How to ask for what you want or say no
- Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, (stay) Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate.
2. GIVE – How to maintain relationships
- Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy manner.
3. FAST – How to maintain self-respect
- Fair, no Apologies (excessive), Stick to values, Truthful.
Step 2: Choose the Right Worksheet
-
DEAR MAN Worksheet
Helps clients structure a conversation to ask for something clearly and effectively. -
GIVE Skills Worksheet
Focuses on keeping interactions kind and validating to maintain connection. -
FAST Skills Worksheet
Guides clients in practicing self-respect when they’re tempted to over-apologize or self-betray. -
Relationship Priorities Worksheet
Helps clients evaluate whether a situation calls for prioritizing objective, relationship, or self-respect goals.
Step 3: Practice a Worksheet in Session
1. Pick a real situation.
Example: A teen client feels overwhelmed by homework but is afraid to ask a teacher for help.
2. Walk through the DEAR MAN worksheet.
- Describe: “The homework assignment has six sections.”
- Express: “I feel stressed and unable to finish.”
- Assert: “I’d like an extension or extra support.”
- Reinforce: “This would help me complete quality work.”
- Mindful: Practice saying it without apologizing repeatedly.
- Appear confident: Role-play tone and body language.
- Negotiate: “Could I get an extra day or reduced sections?”
3. Role-play the conversation in session.
Step 4: Assign as Homework
-Give the worksheet for the client to plan a conversation during the week.
-For teens, encourage practicing at home with a parent or friend first.
-In the next session, review what happened — what went well, what was difficult.
Step 5: Integrate Into Treatment
-Rotate worksheets → one week DEAR MAN, another week GIVE, etc.
-Use relationship priorities worksheets before role-playing to help clients clarify goals.
-Build a communication binder or digital toolkit clients can carry with them.
Tips for Therapists
-With teens: simplify acronyms into visuals (comic strips, role-play games).
-With couples: assign each partner the same worksheet and compare responses.
-With trauma clients: start small, practicing scripts in safe contexts before applying to high-stakes situations.
Download DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheets (PDF)
Includes:
- DEAR MAN Conversation Planner
- GIVE Skills Worksheet
- FAST Self-Respect Worksheet